We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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