You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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