yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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