Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
