She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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