I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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