do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
