Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
