u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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