grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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