you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize