our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
