Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
