i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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