I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
