we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
