Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
