"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
