a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
