I smell stomach acid.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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