My friends, they love my intelligence
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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