ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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