I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
