fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize