Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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