hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
