3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
