so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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