Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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