Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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