I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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