she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
