just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
