love makes seman taste better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize