The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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