we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
