I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
