Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
