You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he told me I talked like a deaf person
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
