Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize