Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
