I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They have beer where we have blood.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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