her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
