there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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