flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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