Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
