In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
