Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
