Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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