How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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