Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
