He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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