I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
