My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
