I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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