Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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