I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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