Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
