You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
