The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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