So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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